Wash away the saccharine coating of Monsters vs. Aliens with some post-apocalypse from Tim Burton.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Clense your Pallet
Monster disappointment
Don't waste your money on Monsters vs. Aliens unless you have 7 year old kids to occupy for a standard hour thirty.
The most standard of boring story. The most one-dimensional characters ever given three dimensions.
Steven Colbert was even upstaged.
General W. R. Monger (Kiefer Sutherland) should have been the focus of this movie. Instead it's about the personal growth (see what I did there?) of a flat, but cute Susan who finds she's strong only after she becomes a platinum blond.
Her fiancee is a self-centered jerk. Big surprise. Seth Rogan plays the (thinly veiled) stoner. Big surprise. The straights are scared of the monsters while seemingly oblivious to an impending alien invasion. A giant robot does nothing but walk aimlessly until Susan shows up, and then walks toward her. Yawn. The alien is meglomaniacal and... nothing else. Not even funny. From the moment he came on screen, I thought how much better it would have been to give the role to Steve Martin and let him ad-lib the entire thing. Way better movie right there.
Nobody dies. The only landmark destroyed is the Golden Gate Bridge. In fact, the whole movie takes place within a few square miles. Alcatraz obliterated? Nope. Chinatown crushed? nu-huh. Haight-Ashbury hallucination joke? Nuthin. Full-house Family flattened? No dice.
Seth's stoner blob does eyeball tricks and falls in love with jello. Yawn. Insectasaurus turns into butterflyasaurus. Zzzzzzz. Boy Susan sure is cute, though. Isn't she friends? LOOKIT! SHE's CUTE! Don't worry that there's nothing else to see. Give us your money.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Moe money -or- schlapschtick -or- Nyukwoop
Non-biopic Three Stooges movie in the works.
http://www.variety.com/VR1118001643.html
Moe = Benicio
Larry = Penn
Curley = Carrey
Who plays Shemp?
Monday, March 23, 2009
Gots nuthin
So I'm posting what I always think of when I hear this song... which is more than you would think.
And, whenever I think about it, I always have a craving to play "Front Line".
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Olive Pie
My teevee watching habits seem to be heavy on the sci-fi / animation side of things so it's a good thing when you get outside of your habit-zone and see something that you really enjoy. Laura has done this for me with the show "Pushing Daisies." For those of you with netflix, I would highly recommend it. Only season one is available as of now, and season two is the last since it's been canceled. Such is the way of decently-written television, especially since "reality" teevee is so much easier and cheaper to produce and script. But whatever. I have come to enjoy worthwhile things while they are around and thankful they existed in the first place. So you should see it. It's a fun show, really well written and fantastically produced. It also features a lovely actress / opera singer and Oklahoma Native Kristin Chenoweth, with whom I am smitten.
Just to dispel the implication the following clip may give that Pushing Daisies liberally uses musical numbers, they don't. They do, however, showcase Kristen's lovely voice (and other features) by making television safe for muscial comedy by using it well. Do yourself and the show a favor by putting it in your queue.
Nom. She and Yummeth Paltrow may have to fight it out in my head for favorite actress. Whup! there they go.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Watchm-in-joke
Never read Watchmen? It won't be funny. This one's for the fans.
This is also how Hanna Barbera ruined American Animation for 20+ years.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
How to save the world with a keytar
...and booze, and a giant robo, and a space station and apathetic over-coolness.
I know nothing about this and am too lazy to look it up.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
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