Monster disappointment

Don't waste your money on Monsters vs. Aliens unless you have 7 year old kids to occupy for a standard hour thirty.
The most standard of boring story. The most one-dimensional characters ever given three dimensions.
Steven Colbert was even upstaged.
General W. R. Monger (Kiefer Sutherland) should have been the focus of this movie. Instead it's about the personal growth (see what I did there?) of a flat, but cute Susan who finds she's strong only after she becomes a platinum blond.
Her fiancee is a self-centered jerk. Big surprise. Seth Rogan plays the (thinly veiled) stoner. Big surprise. The straights are scared of the monsters while seemingly oblivious to an impending alien invasion. A giant robot does nothing but walk aimlessly until Susan shows up, and then walks toward her. Yawn. The alien is meglomaniacal and... nothing else. Not even funny. From the moment he came on screen, I thought how much better it would have been to give the role to Steve Martin and let him ad-lib the entire thing. Way better movie right there.
Nobody dies. The only landmark destroyed is the Golden Gate Bridge. In fact, the whole movie takes place within a few square miles. Alcatraz obliterated? Nope. Chinatown crushed? nu-huh. Haight-Ashbury hallucination joke? Nuthin. Full-house Family flattened? No dice.
Seth's stoner blob does eyeball tricks and falls in love with jello. Yawn. Insectasaurus turns into butterflyasaurus. Zzzzzzz. Boy Susan sure is cute, though. Isn't she friends? LOOKIT! SHE's CUTE! Don't worry that there's nothing else to see. Give us your money.