GEORGE CARLIN IS IN HELL!!!!

Do I need to point out the graphic of a naked woman with her flesh burning or what Freud (also in hell) would say about it? If these people are going to heaven, one ticket to hell, please. Oh, I'm on the list? Well then. Gynnintonyks all around. It was too funny not to post.

Phred, you don't get anything, do you? You don't even get that you are the one writhing and screaming in exquisite pain. Not in hell, but right here on Earth. George would laugh hardest at that.

Made some Dough

New client, new website up at Big Sky Bread. It's got another round of changes to come, but it's posted. Do me a favor and check it out with your respective browsers and give me a report if you see anything out-of-whack. I'd appreciate it.

Making websites seems to make me hungry. Be sure to patronize. I've got some Cinnamon Raisin bread in my near future.

Flaming content

From Questionable Content Web Comic Been there and done it, Dora. I'll do it again.

Flaming Beck Lips

I know, only by hearsay and conjecture, that Beck and the Flaming Lips ended their relationship with "creative differences." What I find is that while The Lips seem to have only strengthened their own style afterward, it seems that this new track from Becks upcoming album "Modern Guilt" sounds just like a Lips song. The vocals sound Wayne-esque, the bass line is Ivens-ish and the drumming is pure Drozd hammer. Even the structure, instrumentation and effects have the Lips written all over them, down to the wavering in-and-out-of-tune-ness of the organ track.
I'll admit I'm biased, but both are in my top ten. So decide for yourself. Tell me I'm wrong if I'm wrong.

I'm not wrong.

Tonight's forcast: Dark.

Alphabet Suit

I once found an odd alternate character in a font. It was a little smear of a thing that looked funny when I called it up in the alternates list, so I typed it in to my vector program and zoomed WAY in.
The odd alternate turned out to be a sentence: "He who dies with the most fonts wins."

On my way to victory, I found a website dedicated to sharing fonts.
It's amazing. I've spent hours browsing, downloading and just marveling at the solutions that people have come up with to represent the 26 soldiers that conquer the world.
Here are a few mouth-watering examples that will no doubt be showing up in my stuff.

Cyclo,Hendrix,Little Lord Fontleroy,gasmask and many more too numerous to mention. Spend some time.

Cookie Monster goes straight

"Me have crazy times during 70's and 80's. Me like the Robert Downey Jr. of Cookie."

Happy Summer Solstice

with a full moon last night. Wow. Both men and women at their strongest at the same time.

Babysplosion

We sure gots some fertile wimenz here in the 405 lately.
Kaboom. I'm super happy for you. I'd be happier if I didn't belong to the W.C. Fields school of children.

Firefox 3 out today.

Go get it. It's one better.

And the Oscar for best supporting extra goes to...

Somebody else but me, but I did get the very large gift of being in a movie released this year. I'm even credited! (in the film, not on IMDB, so don't look for me)

The greatest gift was I am in the last shot of the film. A brilliant gift.
I'm not even going to complain that I was 40 pounds heavier when it was shot. It's awesome. So see it when you can. Buy it when it comes out on DVD. Buy everything you see produced by Team Awesome, cuz they're great. And great friends for giving me that gift. Sorry for making it all about me, but it's my blog and I've never been in a film before. You guys rock. I mean that.
Q. What do you think I whispered to him?
A. I don't know, but I bet it was just right.

The Vultures

I bought a swamp-cooler last weekend. For those who don't know (and do care) a swamp-cooler is a metal box with a fan on one side and a small pump that drips water from a bottom reservoir into aluminum mesh on the remaining 3 sides, creating water-cooled / evaporation cooled air. I paid $12 bucks for it in great condition.
The auction I spent most of my Sunday milling around in was the household of a man that was alive up until a week previously, shuffling off the coil after a sudden and quick-acting illness. I do not know his name.
I do know that he was an active outdoorsman, involved in an antiques business, raised chickens, a drinker, poker player and collected Native American art and artifacts. I also know a whole lot more because I spent an entire afternoon rummaging thru and bidding on the can't-take-it-with-yous of his entire life with a whole buncha other vulture kind.

It isn't like me and all those people were hoping he would die, we just didn't seem to mind the cheap and easy feeding. It makes me feel kinda morbid, but that won't stop me from going to estate sales, cuz I can't stop people from dying. It does give me the desire not to leave a bunch of "stuff" when I go.

But I love my swamp-cooler and the fact that it's going to keep me from air-conditioning my house for another month, saving me much more than $12, so...
So long, and thanks.

Please, Hollywood. Please. please!

Please, for the love of Mike please make a decent superhero movie. Over the last few days I've watched both Spiderman 3 and the latest Superman pablum tripe bullshit and I thank the invisible man in the sky that I borrowed them and didn't have to pay to be miserably bored and upset for 6 hours.
Here's a hint, Hollywood: start your superhero movie with a SUPERHERO FIGHT, you hacks. What do people (or Men) want to see when they see a superhero movie? Superheroes doin super-human, physics-defying stuff like throwing buses, getting smashed thru a wall and blowing shit up with their powers. Spiderman III opens with a brutally uninteresting musical number. Superman Returns opens with a pajammied Kal-El being tenderly tucked in to beddy-bye by his mommy.
If you have to put in a love story, like Superman Returns, Spiderman I-II-II, X-Men I-II, The Hulk, and every other POS you've made in the last 10 years besides Batman, do it right. Otherwise, it's a chick-flick with subtle superhero undertones. Even Hellboy and The Incredibles, the greatest superhero movies made, had love stories. They just did it right, and had plenty of fun/cool superhero stuff.
Damn, you make me mad. If you can't figure out that superhero movies should be about superhero stuff, do us all a favor and just do coke till your brains seize completely and leave the movies to the independents. Just stop.

Charlie Parker, forgive me.

I died laughing.

Charlie Parker looked like Buddha
Charlie Parker, who recently died
Laughing at a juggler on the TV
After weeks of strain and sickness,
Was called the Perfect Musician.
And his expression on his face
Was as calm, beautiful, and profound
As the image of the Buddha
Represented in the East, the lidded eyes
The expression that says "All Is Well"
This was what Charlie Parker
Said when he played, All is Well.
You had the feeling of early-in-the-morning
Like a hermit's joy, or
Like the perfect cry of some wild gang
At a jam session,
"Wail, Wop"
Charlie burst his lungs to reach the speed
Of what the speedsters wanted
And what they wanted
Was his eternal Slowdown.
-Jack Kerouac

Random 10 for June 8

1. "Kiss Me Deadly" - Reel Big Fish
2. "Glass" - Future Sound of London
3. "Dukes of Hazzard" - Weezer
4. "Fake Friends" - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
5. "Sugar Never Tasted so Good" - White Stripes
6. "Yacht Dance" - XTC
7. "Gimmie Some Money" - Spinal Tap
8. "Mr. Hitler" - Leadbelly
9. "Blue Monday" - New Order
10. "Forgetting Me" - Model 2551

of being a Poster Artist

Alton Kelly has died and his memorial story on NPR made me think of my career as a show poster artist. I've made dozens, mostly for free because of the creative freedom I received for doing them. They were all a joy to do. The only time I made money doing it was last summer when I had LiT and Neptunz as clients promoting their shows, and it was a blast. Jayne Doe liked their poster so much they made it into a t-shirt, which was a big complement. The only album cover I did was a photograph for the Stellas. I am proud of it, but it was a photo, not my art. I studied Kozic, Kelly, Mouse and Masse and many other non-named sources, and then tried ,without complete success, to be totally unlike them. They hold power with their art. They have been the most fun I have had in my business. Animation is a blast, but way tougher than static images. These guys made a career out of it. I still hope to.

New animation up

It's crap. So much so that I'm starting a new genre called Crapmation. Oh wait. Newgrounds already did that. They just didn't name it that. I didn't have a decent concept and wanted to animate something to completion, so I did. Well, like everything else, if there wasn't the bad, we wouldn't know what's good, would we?
You can see it here, if you really want to:
Da Vinci Animation

Go Team Venture!

Venture Brothers Season 3 premier in 15. Sitting thru the umpteenth rerun of Family Guy gets hard sometimes.

Philip Marlowe, Private Dick

"When it comes to women, does anyone really want to know the facts?"