Please, for the love of Mike please make a decent superhero movie. Over the last few days I've watched both Spiderman 3 and the latest Superman pablum tripe bullshit and I thank the invisible man in the sky that I borrowed them and didn't have to pay to be miserably bored and upset for 6 hours.
Here's a hint, Hollywood: start your superhero movie with a SUPERHERO FIGHT, you hacks. What do people (or Men) want to see when they see a superhero movie? Superheroes doin super-human, physics-defying stuff like throwing buses, getting smashed thru a wall and blowing shit up with their powers. Spiderman III opens with a brutally uninteresting musical number. Superman Returns opens with a pajammied Kal-El being tenderly tucked in to beddy-bye by his mommy.
If you have to put in a love story, like Superman Returns, Spiderman I-II-II, X-Men I-II, The Hulk, and every other POS you've made in the last 10 years besides Batman, do it right. Otherwise, it's a chick-flick with subtle superhero undertones. Even Hellboy and The Incredibles, the greatest superhero movies made, had love stories. They just did it right, and had plenty of fun/cool superhero stuff.
Damn, you make me mad. If you can't figure out that superhero movies should be about superhero stuff, do us all a favor and just do coke till your brains seize completely and leave the movies to the independents. Just stop.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Please, Hollywood. Please. please!
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5 comments:
1. Totally right about Spiderman 3 and Superman, though romantic melodrama in Spiderman is part of the deal. Still, it sucked (and could have been great).
2. I will defend "Hulk" as a great film till the day I die (Shrek-lookin' Hulk notwithstanding).
3. Go see Iron Man.
yeah, Spiderman 3 is laughable. and not on purpose......I don't think..
I had to watch it twice within a week. I will say this, it wasn't boring - kind of entertaingly bad. train-wreck ish.
kev - I need to see "Hulk". My great friend Jason Cooper also defends that movie quite aggressively.
I second the "Watch The Hulk" idea. I liked Ang Lee's split screen stuff (reminded me of 60's pop-art films), and that he used the whole Peter David riff on Childhood Abuse/Neglect. It added a nice layer to the whole Jekyll & Hyde idea that is at the core of the Hulk.
However, the "Hulk Dogs" still make me cringe/wince/shriek like a little girl.
And to fan the flames, I still say "Mystery Men" is a great superhero movie.
And "Unbreakable" is still one of the best superhero movies, and there's hardly any superheroics in it at all.
spiderman 3 is so bad it almost ruins the first two, which i really liked. i agree, rob. sigh. people pay millions to make such bullshit when really they should give it to me to pay off my student loans so that i can make something nice.
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